Monday, April 9, 2012


Last night was double feature deliciousness here at the Whiteford Home after the family went to bed.  Taking back a couple shots of vodka with a handful of pistachios (and a few chocolate eggs from my boys' Easter baskets) while enjoying Critters (1986) and Critters 2 (1988) was the perfect end to Easter Sunday. 
They really don't make movies like this anymore.  I was like seven years old when Critters was released in theaters, but it wasn't until I was eight or nine that I was able to catch it on cable or video rental.  My mom had made an illegal VHS tape for us kids, and I watched it until I had it memorized.  If you're a fan of 80's monster movies with little puppet creatures running amok, causing destruction and eating townsfolk, then you've no doubt seen these classics.  But for everyone else, here's a quick synopsis of the two films:
Little porcupine creatures with lots of sharp teeth and insatiable appetites escape from an outer space prison and land on Earth.  Alien shape-shifting bounty hunters with green glowing heads and trigger fingers are sent out to destroy them. The critters eat cows, a couple people, and some chickens, then terrorize a family on a farm.  The bounty hunters imitate the town's inhabitants while shooting up the local church and bowling alley until they are led to the farmhouse where the family is under siege.  Lots of explosions and critter death ensue.
Part 2 takes place on Easter and has characters returning from the original film to fight the critters once again as they display mandatory raucous behavior and shed even more blood this time around.  As with most monster movie sequels from the 80s especially, this one has a bit more humor thrown in with the mayhem.

My little description in no way gives the films justice, so see them for yourself .  There is much more substance to these movies than I have led on.  The actors bring good performances (you can't ever go wrong with Dee Wallace Stone) and the effects, puppetry, and make-up are fabulous.  The films are followed by two other equally entertaining sequels, one featuring an early performance by Leonardo DiCaprio, and the other stars Brad Dourif. Brad Dourif kicks my ass. Now check out this awesome art by one of my old band mates Aaron Richardson, then watch the trailer for the original film.  Thanks!

Artwork by Aaron Richardson


  1. Amazing as always, Joe! You're reviews make my day!

  2. Wow... that artwork is awesome. For me, Critters ranks up there with the Leprechaun movies. Both are classics, and great for the holidays.

  3. If you haven't seen Attack the Block yet, absolutely do it. That movie made my friend give up his attempts to remake Critters because attack the block did everything he wanted to do with Critters.

  4. I just watched the Leprechaun movies 1 through 4 a few weeks back. Definitely on par with Critters.

    And Attack the Block was one of my favorites movies last year. Unfortunately, I've been unable to find anyone with my enthusiasm for it.