Harley Poe Show

So I guess Harley Poe has a show this next Friday at the Melody Inn.  We're also playing there late February, so I thought this one had been cancelled.  No biggie, we love that bar.  Come see us if you have nothing to do. We're playing with the DeadFrets and one of the members of Slothpop.  The show will probably start around 9 or 10, but we won't go on until about Midnight.  Be there.

My Last Snowman

Here is my third and final snowman for the year 2011.  This cute little pervert has candy canes for teeth and a carrot prick.  He was fun to create, and I can't wait to come up with more for next year.

So far, this has been a very exciting Christmas season for me for several reasons:  My family and I are living in my Grandparents' home where I've spent many wonderful Christmas Eves as a child, and my boy Ransom is three years old and overwhelmed with excitement due to the sporadic snowfall, blinking lights, and presents under the tree.  To top it off, It's been a creative month for me.  I've had time to sculpt three mutant snowmen and a Krampus, and the day after Christmas I go back to Fort Wayne to hear the final mix of Harley Poe's new record Satan Sex and No Regrets.  I've also had a chance to get some painting in, because my nephews have asked for some shoes with skeleton feet like the ones I made Ransom for Halloween.  So I've finished these just in time for the boys to open on Christmas morning.  I hope they don't read my blog.

Herschell Goes to Heaven (New Harley Poe Song)

I had written and illustrated this story years ago and have been trying to get it published in the form of a baby book ever since, but I guess it just isn't meant to be.  Rue Morgue magazine published a piece on me back in issue #54 and featured a few of its pages alongside the article, and I self published and pressed 200 black and white versions about two years ago. Still, I don't feel many people have seen it, and at the time I finished it I was very proud, so it's a bit disappointing.  I guess it's okay that it never got picked up by a publishing company.  It's my first attempt at an illustrated story in the form of a children's book.  I'll do a better job and write a longer story next time.  I've put music to the poem and recorded it in the studio of my buddy and band mate Gregg Manfredi.  So here you go.  Please enjoy.

Secuestrados (Kidnapped)

I had read about this film in Fangoria magazine a few issues back.  The article had good things to say about it, and being a fan of home invasion movies like Funny Games (1997), Ils (2006), and The Strangers (2008) I was excited to give it a go, so I saved it in my Netflix queue and then forgot about it.  Well it arrived a few days ago, but I had been putting off viewing it due to my weird quirk of only watching Christmas movies during the month of December.  But I also didn't want to send it back without seeing it and it was holding up the line, so after my girlfriend/wife went to bed I popped it in the DVD player.

A little over an hour later I must tell the world about it, or at least those who visit my blog.  I still can't get the final scene out of my head.  WOW!  If you're a fan of the genre, then this one is a must-see!  But if you don't like those hard to watch, stressful and unsettling horror films in which the good guys seldom win, then by all means keep far away from it.  The actors are convincing, the camera work--especially the use of split screen--is outstanding, and the victims' actions during the more upsetting scenes are more than believable.  This movie shows no mercy, and maybe I'm just an optimistic child, but towards its end, I almost believed that everything was going to be okay...then came that final scene.

Movies like Secuestrados make me want to take extreme measures when it comes to securing my home and protecting my family.  And now I get to go to bed, if I can stop thinking about how disturbing it was.

Mutant Snowman #2

I now have two mutant snowmen. I hope to get one more made before Christmas.  Email me if you'd like an original and I'll give you a price.

Holiday Horror

When I created this blog a couple years ago, my first post was a list of Christmas horror films that I had compiled for the publisher of a magazine I really enjoy reading.  I was very concerned with sharing my list with anybody who might be interested, because I love holiday horror movies, and like every other misguided and overly opinionated schmuck who thinks he has something to offer the world via blog, grammatically incorrect posts on Amazon.com, or incredibly lame review videos on YouTube, I too believed I had new insight to offer about these films.  In time I’ve come to my senses and realize I have nothing to add that hasn’t already been hashed out to death by these socially retarded fan boys.  Still, it fills a little void, and I happily accept that I am no critic (nor am I a very good writer for that matter).  The movies I review on this blog are movies I love.  If I don’t like a film, I just ignore it.  I’d much rather spend my time raving about the things I enjoy than wasting my time ripping apart the things I can’t stand; I’ll leave that to the real asshole critics.

Alright, glad I got that out.  Moving on, I’d like to recommend three more of my favorite Xmas horror films for the holiday season, and here they are in no particular order.  Enjoy.

Soft for Digging (2001)

J.T. Petty’s simple yet effective little ghost story is an intriguing watch with almost no dialogue and few characters.  An old hermit witnesses the murder of a little girl in the forest that surrounds his home, but after a community search for the missing body with no results and a few otiose trips to the supposed scene of the crime, the authorities begin to think the witness is just a senile old kook.  This eventually leads to the old man taking it upon himself to solve the crime and, well, things aren’t what they seem.  The story is really nothing new, but the execution is brilliant.  Even my wife who had just worked a thirteen hour shift stuck around until the end.  It’s impressive how one can create a film in which the mundane life of an old man, accompanied by bits of piano sprinkled in between the ambience of the woods and inside the man’s cabin, can keep a viewer’s attention; and this director, with his first film, had no problem pulling it off.  So sit down with some eggnog and a pair of comfy long johns and enjoy.

Mum & Dad (2008)

A sexually deranged family of thieves, led by the sadistic husband and wife team simply known as Mum and Dad, work together to kidnap, adopt, and often rape, torture, and murder young people who could potentially benefit the order of things for this fucked-up group of said villains.  In an age when any and all forms of depravity are permissible in the world of horror, it’s hard to judge just how sick this movie really is.  There are thousands like it, but only few in which the actors capture the essence of such evil and disgusting characters as Mum and Dad.  These puppies are sick and easy to hate.  I for one needed the good guys to win this time around.  Check it out.  It’s not really a Christmas movie, but for the last half hour of the film, the family decides to celebrate the season (whether it’s Xmas time or not) with stolen presents, family awkwardness, and good ol’ fashion holiday murder.

Santa Claws (1996)

Yay for Debbie Rochon!  Yay for boobies!  But other than these two wonderful gifts to mankind, there’s not much else going for this John Russo cheapie.  It’s nice to see the team responsible for the original Night of the Living Dead together again, and I can hang with the idea of trying to combine 1980’s old school slasher film with 1960’s nudie cutie, but sheesh! What a pile of turd!  What a stench of vomit!  What an awesome experience!!!  There is so much to love about this movie.  You get the discrepancies in continuity, dubbing, and any other technical issues that go into movie making, and you get a plot that goes a bit like this:  Childhood trauma causes psychotic, retarded neighbor in love with Rochon’s character to dress up as Santa Claws and go on a killing spree.  Children get drugged, associates get naked and die, loser husband solves the mystery, and scream queen kills the bad guy.  Who watches this shit?

Mutant Snowman

My buddy recently sculpted a set of little snowmen in the image of his family.  I was impressed by what he came up with, and already planning to sculpt several Christmas monsters myself, decided to sculpt my own snowman.  I had sculpted one last year to accompany my Abominable Snowman piece, but I was never very happy with him.  I like this one much more, but he's still not what I someday hope to capture.  The idea came from Bill Watterson's Calvin and Hobbes comics.

The Return of Krampus

Here is my new Krampus sculpture just in time for Christmas.  If you'd like an original Krampus for your Holiday decorations, just get a hold of me for a price, or check out my etsy store: etsy.com/shop/joewhiteford.  Thanks! And Happy Holidays!

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It's Christmas Time Again.

Back in 2006, Standard Recording Company released a Christmas compilation featuring bands from the label and a few other Indianapolis artists who weren't part of the roster.  Around that time Harley Poe had a new split album in the works with Seattle's Dead Vampires (also released by Standard).  While we were in the studio we had some extra time to record our own Christmas song for the comp.  As a gift to the Harley Poe fans who visit my blog every now and again I present to you our contribution to Standard Recording Company's first Christmas compilation.  The CD also features songs from The Reverend Peyton's Big Damn Band, Everything, Now!, Chad Serhal (She Does Is Magic), and a few other great Indiana bands that have since gone missing.  Last I checked it was still in print and can be ordered through amazon.com.  Enjoy, and if you like what you hear, then order a copy for Christmas.

Spooky Chess Set

I began sculpting this set months ago, but I've just now been able to finish it due to moving into a new home and dealing with a rambunctious one year old son...I guess my three year old hasn't made it easy either.  I'm glad I can move onto other things such as working on my ABC book and creating some more Krampus figures for the holiday season.  If I see that enough people are interested in this set I'll start making molds to sell for cheaper prices.  Otherwise, if anyone has an interest in this set, then feel free to contact me via email.  I like these pieces more than my last ones.  Anyone up for a game of chess followed by drinks and a movie?

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Happy Halloween

Everyday my oldest son makes us listen to "This is Halloween" from The Nightmare Before Christmas soundtrack.  Not that I'm complaining; that song never gets old. It's awesome that he's just as excited about the holiday as I am.  This year I've been making my own decorations.  Check 'em out, please.  I'm selling custom made tiny jack-o-lanterns at my Etsy store, but if anyone is interested in a doll like the one above, contact me via email for a price.

Finished Zombie Cornhole Set

Very happy with these.

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New Harley Poe Shirts

Here is the new band shirt.  Get it at our upcoming Halloween Shows or get a hold of me via email.  We also have a few of the old ones left.  Bitches!

New Zombie Heads

Here is the first head for a cornhole set I'm painting for a potential buyer.  I might still have a little work to do on him.  I'm getting quicker and improving in detail, I think.

Finished Zombie Heads.

Interested in a set? Contact me through joecalibretto@hotmail.com for prices.

Zombie Corn Holes!!!

My little guy helping me paint zombie heads in my shop.

My sister and brother-in-law are throwing our annual Halloween party this year and we're planning to go all out. Most of our friends have children now, so we're trying to come up with fun games for the little devils to play. But we also plan to have games for the adults as well, and since my family has been obsessed with playing Tailgate Toss all summer, my brother-in-law decided to build a set of corn hole boards and I'm attempting to paint zombie heads on them. This year is going to be a blast; I bet you wish you were invited...bitches!

Drinks on me!

So my boys and I are extremely excited about the new shot glasses I've been sculpting.

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Monster Porn

Lately I’ve had a growing interest in the low brow art of Ed Roth and those who had worked for him and/or have been influenced by his vision. Within the last year I’ve purchased several books relating to that whole Polynesian/hotrod/1960s monster art scene just to learn more about some of the artists and styles that are out there. Here are a few of the books that I’ve read on Big Daddy and his collaborators:

My interest in this primarily West Coast subculture initially stemmed from having a Rat Fink action figure when I was a kid. At one point I also remember collecting a card series released by Topps which featured monsters drawn in the style of Rat Fink and his friends. I didn’t know anything about these hotrod-riding and surfing monsters except that they were gross and looked freaking cool with their popping eyes, warts, and giant yaps flung open, but since reading about their history and of those responsible for their birth, I’ve become a little more knowledgeable of this renegade world of tiki gods and pin striping and have developed my own style of illustrating Rat Fink-influenced monsters.

Rat Fink and his friends represent rebellion, speed, and punk rock. These monsters are the middle finger to whatever is accepted as mainstream, normal, or proper, whether it’s in art, lifestyle, or spirituality. This stuff is right up my alley. The only problem is that I’m not really a car guy. In this world monsters and cars go hand-in-hand, but honestly, I couldn’t care less about noisy, air polluting, resource-guzzling machines. My car serves one purpose, but I’d still rather use my bicycle to get where I’m going.

Big Daddy is probably rolling in his grave. I’ve rebelled against the rebellious. I’ve taken the hotrod out of the picture but left the monster. To a gearhead there’s nothing more appealing than a work of art featuring a metallic beast driven by a greasy, slobbering monster; but to a pervert there’s nothing more appealing than a sexy vixen being driven by a greasy, throbbing monster. Here are two of my own monsters created in the image of R.F. and his buddies. Don't care too much for cars, but I find the female body very appealing. I have no shame, but I’ve still managed to censor myself for those who aren't expecting. I’ve had postcards printed of the following illustrations for those of you who are interested. Contact me at joecalibretto@hotmail.com if you’d like a set.

Idiot Gore

This is the teaser for Joshua Hull's second feature. Gregg Manfredi and I did the music. The lyrics were written by Joshua. Really looking forward to being a part of this project.


And this is the trailer for Joshua's first film. If you ever get a chance to see it, check it out! Harley Poe's "It's Only the End of the World" plays for the title sequence and the end credits.

Chip

This is the introduction of a comic I illustrated for Craig Carmichael sometime last year. Most people know him as Chip. He's a good writer with a bit of a dark streak, and it was a pleasure illustrating the few pages I did for him. Find him on Facebook and order his books.

Calabrese and Harley Poe Show!

I'm a little nervous about this show, because it's the first one with our new bass player and only the second with our new guitarist. I hope we don't disappoint. I'm very excited to play with Calabrese though. They are featured on Rue Morgue's second Hymns compilation. We were on the first. Be there.

Do you like scary movies? Well I do; I absolutely love them.

So I went and saw Scream 4 a few days ago. I went to the 2:05 showing, and other than an older man and woman, whom I suspect weren’t functioning with full decks, I was the only one in the theater. This had to be one of the most enjoyable experiences I've had at the movies. I absolutely loved the film! It was definitely the second best of the series, and the countless times I heard “Oh shit!” coming from the couple behind me was an indication they too were having a good time.

It seems to me that before Scream (1996) was released in theaters, the slasher film was almost nonexistent in the 90s. Mainstream horror itself, with but few exceptions, was faring poorly throughout the decade. Scream helped revitalize the genre, simple as that. The film helped open the gates to the horror revival fans have enjoyed within this last decade and introduced a new antihero known as Ghostface.

I remember going to see it after church when it had first come out back in 1996. During those days I was very involved with Christian activities and wasn’t paying too much attention to the genre I once held so dear to my heart. Scream was a sort of catalyst for returning to the dark side. The last showing of the night was I think around ten o’clock and my mother had adamantly expressed her disapproval of me going to watch such a violent film right after church. I think I was going on eighteen and remember stating that I was old enough to make my own decisions, so she didn’t push the issue too hard, except to let me know that she had called dad and he wanted me home by midnight.

Though I was pressed for time, a few friends from youth group and I went to witness the rebirth of the whodunit slasher film. Being a late showing, and due to the film having been in theaters for a couple weeks already, there were only a few other people in the theater. The experience was incredible. I remember how stressed I was about making it home before midnight, but that didn’t keep me from having a great time. It was such a thrill to hear my friends scream like children, and the image of Drew Barrymore’s character getting butchered at the beginning of the film will forever be ingrained in my psyche.

It had been a long time since I’d seen a film so violent and creative. At that time, before the horror boom of the 2000s, I hadn’t seen any of the original Texas Chainsaw Massacres (1974-1994), and I had only viewed a few of the original Halloween (1978-1995) and Friday the 13th (1980-1993) films. I had never seen Hell Night (1981) starring Linda Blair and featuring the surprise killer, so Scream was an experience that was wholly new to me. It was a horror film that called out the clichés of the genre and glorified them, even though Rofle Kanefsky's little known gem There’s Nothing Out There (1992) had done it four years earlier. After the movie was over I left the theater, got in my car (after checking the backseat), and made it home by 12:05 am. My parents weren’t waiting up. That night was a defining moment in my pathetic little life.

So over a decade later it’s good to see the return of a franchise that spawned so many imitations and parodies. At the turn of the century teenage slasher films were popping up every other month, and I made sure to make it to the theater for both Scream sequels (1997 good, 2000 bad), I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997) and its sequel I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998), Urban Legend (1998), Disturbing Behavior (1998), The Faculty (1998), Halloween H20 (1998), and many others created in the wake of a classic. And when Scream 5 comes around, I’ll be sure to see it in the theater as well. Amen.

The Vampire and the Haunted Trees

I'm not too interested in Easter, except for the fact I get to spoil my boys with chocolate eggs and other gifts, and I do like the idea of celebrating fertility and the beginning of new things to come. Other than those reasons, it's not a holiday I generally get excited about. But I do love Halloween! Just take a look!



By the way, my house is now on the market. 1616 Kingston Rd, Kokomo, IN, 46901. Please buy it. And now that April is just about over, the song of the month is "We Gotta Get Out Of This Place" performed by the Animals. Seriously, it needs to stop raining. Tomorrow is May 1st; time for sun, cocktails, and swimming. It's been a long fuckin' winter.

I realize this post is very random with no point.

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The Breeder

It’s near the end of spring. At 6:00 AM, outside a remote trailer park just off an old country road, an explosion is heard by the denizens. Further investigation reveals a huge crater, but no sign of a meteorite or anything else for that matter—just footprints starting at the center of the hole, heading toward the park. The prints are simply oval shaped, indicating no heels or toes, but a jelly-like substance is left in each one. This is just the beginning of a twenty-four hour stretch of terror for the occupants living in these trailers, for in one of the homes hides a beast cruel, unusual, and extremely horny.


Whether a beast from Hell, or a creature from outer space, the Breeder has one purpose.
It has come here to mate, and if its phallus can't accomplish that goal, then its fingers will.
SEE Earth girls ravished! WITNESS the men they love torn to pieces! WATCH as the Breeder achieves his goal of creating hideousness!!


Run, Earth girls, run!!!