PM Buchan's Black Out

 Satan, killer clowns, necrophilia, lechery, insobriety, cannibalism, sex dolls, murder; this is what you love, and all this and more in full color can be found in this nasty little book brought to you by P M Buchan with the help of some of his sick collaborators, including yours truly. Support independent comics, celebrate perversity, and order yours here: http://pmbuchan.bigcartel.com/

TMNT Repaints: Mondo Gecko and Fugitoid

Mondo Gecko SOLD

As a young skater wannabe, Mondo Gecko was always one of my favorite good guys, but even as a kid the lack of detail in his paint job bothered me.  I remember taking an ink pen and filling in the eye sockets and nose of his skull knee pad.  At the time I might have liked his bright yellow shirt and purple pants, but for my custom job I've given him a black shirt with a Misfits-looking skull to match his devilock. I think he looks a bit more scene kid now.

Fugitoid

I liked Fugitoid just as much, with all his cool weapons that could attach to his body.  I almost didn't repaint him because I've always liked his original paint job.  Even though I think he is completely silver in the comic,  I like him better with more of a steampunk look.

Greetings from Krampus

Of those who tell lies to get their way,

Who cause dissension with what they say,

Of those who accuse but claim no flaw,

May Krampus come and take off the jaw.

Of those who would see the sacred spoiled,

Whose lust would allow the innocent soiled,

Of those who would harm to achieve the prize,

May Krampus come and take out the eyes.

Of those who are greedy and selfish all year,

Who lust for power and gain by fear,

Of those who refuse from sin to depart,

May Krampus come and take out the heart.

                                                                     -J.B.W.

Zombie Portrait

This is my first attempt at a zombie portrait.  I was commissioned a few weeks ago to zombify this young lass and her little doggy and was allowed some time today away from my family to get it done.  I've drawn zombies before from my imagination and have rendered my friends in charcoal as they sat for hours in front of me, but this one was drawn from a pic I had on my cell phone. I'm happy with my work, but given the opportunity to do more, I know there is room for improvement.  Rob Sacchetto I am not, but I feel I have potential.  Thanks for looking.

Terror in the Midnight Sun

This is the poster I painted for the upcoming Harley Poe show at the Brass Rail in Fort Wayne, Indiana, on December 1st.  I didn't paint on the fonts this time.  They will be added by the venue owner when all the info is in stone.

Charlie McCarthy and the Killer Dummies

I'm starting this post about 4 am and my goddamn computer keeps giving me shit. I'm usually sound asleep around this time, but it began to rain, my four year old began to scream, and I lost my place in the bed.  My wife and I aren't very big people and we share a small mattress with our Boston terrier, so when the boys have too much chocolate, or when there's lightening and thunder, or when there's just something under the bed, guess who suffers.

But oh well. I've been meaning to write this post for about a week anyway.  At least it's quiet now, and since I have the time, I'd like to share with whoever is out there two short films and recommend three full length features about killer ventriloquist dummies. The first film is simply called The Dummy (1982) and is only about 7 minutes long.  I remember seeing it on HBO when I was probably about the same age as the screaming child who woke me up tonight.  It was on around my bed time so I only caught a minute or two of it, but it scared the shit out of me.  It was my first encounter with the concept of a dummy walking around on its own, killing people.  You can view it here: http://youtu.be/4-8ocnmE0Ts.

The next three recommendations are perfect for Halloween and are available on Netflix, or I'm sure at least two of them are available at your local video store; that's if video stores still exist in your town.

 Dead of Night (1945) is a British horror anthology with lots of good stories and a great wrap around, but the most interesting and terrifying segment is easily the one featuring Hugo Fitch, a smart ass, conniving little shit looking for a new partner and a trip to the U.S. The movie has some pretty cool effects concerning the evil dummy and is the first film I know of to portray a ventriloquist doll as a living, thinking murderer.

Magic (1978) is my favorite of the three and stars the always remarkable Anthony Hopkins as Corky the magician and ventriloquist who's a little afraid of success and might not be quite right in the head.  His inseparable pal and partner in crime is Fats, another smart ass, conniving little shit; but instead of looking for a new act, would rather keep Corky all to himself.  See it.  It's awesome.

 Dead Silence (2007) might be the weakest of the three with its sluggish pace, jump scares, and sort-a-silly surprise ending, but it also offers lots of creepy ventriloquist dummies and neat effects.  Though the movie's antagonist is a ghost named Mary Shaw, most of the horror takes place through a creepy doll named Billy. Definitely worth a look.  Donny Wahlberg keeps me coming back with his dick head detective act and awesome mustache.

Lastly, we come to a short video I shot with my wife's very cheap and outmoded camera.  Pictured above is a charcoal portrait I drew of a plastic Charlie McCarthy doll my mom bought for me a few years back.  A couple weeks ago I gave him a sinister new paint job and enrolled him in acting classes.  We, together with members of my family, wrote, directed, and edited this pile of shit I'm allowing any and every poor soul to experience through the miracle of YouTube.  It's only 7 minutes (that you'll never get back) and sports no effects, no professional actors, and no sense. Enjoy.

Our Own Monster Engine Part 2

Here's the second collaboration of the eccentric but brilliant young artist Ransom Whiteford and myself.  I like this one a bit more than the pumpkin man, and I'm looking forward to working with this talented illustrator again.

Below is a photo sent to me yesterday of a collaboration between Jonathan Laplante and his daughter. It's of a red-eyed forest monster that befriends a little boy. The creature comes from a story Laplante told to his daughter a year ago. Good work guys.  If you have a photo of a cool monster that you've envisioned and executed with your child, send it my way and I'll add it to this post.

Our Own Monster Engine

 I had read about Dave Devries' Monster Engine a few years back in an issue of Rue Morgue Magazine and thought what a neat idea to create realistic, three dimensional looking paintings of crude children's drawings. Recently, my wife had found images on Pinterest.com of plush toys also designed from the simple drawings of children.  My four year old loves to draw and has lately been coming up with some cool characters in the Spirit of Halloween.  Just the other day he drew a jack-o-lantern with appendages and a mummy that could easily best anything from the mind of Tim Burton.

Well as you can see, I've taken his wonderful little pumpkin man and made him into a three dimensional figure.  I'm going to sculpt his mummy today and I can't get to it quickly enough.  Forming this character into clay was very rewarding.  It was just as exciting for me to sculpt and paint this guy as it was for my son to see his creation come to life.  It's pretty cool to collaborate with my boy on an art project.  Give it a shot with your own kids.

TMNT Repaints: RAT KING and CASEY JONES

Ha! So I lied! I knew I would repaint more of my old Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle action figures when I stated I was finished for the year in my last post, and I fooled all seventeen of you. Evil Genius I am.  Take that world! Anyway, here are the Rat King and Casey Jones.  I dirtied up the Rat King a bit, painted in the extra details including that giant centipede on his chest (why was that not painted?!?), and gave him more of a mummy living in the sewer look.  The original paint job was much too colorful for a sewer dwelling rat man.

Rat King

 This Casey Jones figure came out in 1989, so I painted his hockey mask to look like that of Jason Vorhees from the same year.  I think I made him look a bit more psycho and maybe homeless.  I liked how the original cartoon portrayed him as a total nut job.  I grayed his hair a bit to make him older as well.  The newer renditions of Casey Jones are of a young, well rounded stud. Well fuck that! This figure has psycho killer written all over him. I didn't have an extra figure to show you comparisons, so Google him to see what I've changed. Hope you like.

Casey Jones

Stay tuned for more repainted figures.  Still tracking down the artists who created these toys and are responsible for helping to create the monster I am today.  I promise my next post will be about something else.  I'll be recommending three killer ventriloquist dummy movies along with a short film from HBO back in the 80s.  I'll also be showing off my short shot-on-shitty-camera disaster I'm making with my family and custom painted Charlie McCarthy dummy.  Happy Halloween!

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Repaints: NAPOLEON BONAFROG & Flyboy and LEATHERHEAD

So I've become a bit obsessed with repainting my old Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles action figures from my childhood.  I've even gone so far as to track down missing accessories and a few figures I didn't even own when I was a kid.  I've discovered the studio and artist responsible for the sculpts and have stalked him via email, but I suspect he refuses to entertain such weirdos as myself, for he hasn't written back and probably won't.  I've even recently acquired the Toxic Crusaders line of figures also released by Playmates around the same time the TMNT toys were being made, and I'm willing to bet they were sculpted by the same artist. It's safe to say I'll be repainting them after I'm finished with the Turtles line.

Here are the final two figures I'll be repainting for awhile.  The Holidays are on the way and I'll have less free time in the months ahead to waste on painting vintage toys.  So I leave you with the mutant alligator Leatherhead and my first two custom painted good guys Napoleon Bonafrog & Flyboy.  As I've already mentioned in a post or two ago, I plan to do at least ten more of these guys before I start on the Toxie guys.  Until then, it's time for a break.  The wife should be happy; her nerdy husband is putting away his toys... Well, some of them.

Napoleon Bonafrog & Flyboy

Leatherhead

TMNT Repaints: KRANG and GENERAL TRAAG

I just finished repainting two more characters from my childhood collection of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles action figures. I have plans to do about ten more, including the giant bugs.  Can't wait.

Before

After

General Traag

Krang

Zombie Head Shot Glasses

 I had six shot glasses left, so I made two zombie heads that will be available on my Etsy store at etsy.com/shop/joewhiteford, so check 'em out if you have a chance.  They'll be sold together. And here's a fun recipe that can be found several places online with different ingredients, prepared much more effectively, and might go by the name Zombie Brain or Bloody Tumor. It's very easy to make.

Fill your glasses with peach schnapps.

Slowly pour a teaspoon of Irish cream liqueur on the schnapps.

Add a squirt of grenadine.

The Irish cream will curdle and give the effect of a brain or tumor, and the grenadine looks like blood (if you add enough).

 

As I mentioned above, mine don't look that great, but they still look gross and taste like actual decomposing brains.  So make yourself some at your next Halloween party and shoot 'em quickly.  Gross.

SOLD

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Repaints: MUCKMAN & Joe Eyeball and SCUMBUG

A few posts ago, I mentioned that my childhood was spent in the 80s absorbing the awesomeness that could have only been found in that decade.  I also mentioned going through the upstairs spare rooms of my parents' house and coming across my old M.U.S.C.L.E. figures.  But I failed to mention that while I was there, serendipity shined upon me as I dug deep into the toy boxes and discovered whatever accessories and random parts I could find of what used to be my Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles action figure collection.

Wow! How could I have forgotten such awesome Toys?!? How could I have let their weapons and belts get lost into closet obscurity?  What used to be a complete collection of awesomeness was now just loose accessories and broken parts.  I never really played with my Ninja Turtles; I would just set them up and pose them. It was important that I kept them like new, but now they were just random pieces lost in the shuffle of other random pieces.

Regardless, I took what I could find and reassembled whatever pieces that weren't permanently broken.  I brought them home for my boys and gave my old TMNT toys new purpose.  I even managed to find complete sets of weapons for several of my favorite characters, which brings me to why this post is being written.

There is not a soul in the world who hasn't heard of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.  They're everywhere, and they've been a part of pop culture since the 80s.  Not that familiar? You wanna know more? Just take a short trip to Google Land and educate yourself.  Monthly comics still in print, on going action figure releases, cartoon episodes, three live action films, an animated feature with a new one in the works, and let's not forget the original arcade game. God I loved that arcade game.

Until I was about 12 or 13, I was infatuated with the Turtles.  Every Tuesday I'd go to the local bowling alley with my mom to play that arcade game, until it become available on Super Nintendo.  I also had a copy of the Coming Out of Their Shells cassette tape available through Pizza Hut when the turtles decided to become rock stars.  I owned VHS tapes of the first two live action films, and as I've already stated, I owned most of the original action figure line.  Sheeeeeesh! What wonderful memories!  But enough digressing.

Easily the best part about the Ninja Turtle craze was the action figure line from the late 80s and early 90s.  I'm not too impressed with most of the new figures coming out (the Turtles themselves being an exception), but the original line was a perfect example of sheer craftsmanship and creativity.  The sculpts were so detailed and in many cases extremely gross.  But, hey, it was the 80s; most toys were gross then.  The only thing lacking about the figures, and many a fanboy will agree, were the paint jobs.  Though the toys were bright and colorful, they failed to capture the detailed design the sculptors had in mind.  Plus, this action figure line was made up of mutants and monsters who had no business having such garish paint jobs, even though they were made for children and the brighter colors surely caught the youngsters' eyes.  So like many a fanboy, I've taken some of my favorite figures and given them new paint jobs.  A better paint job brings out the detail in the figure, and thanks to eBay, I've been able to track down certain accessories missing from some of my old figures, rendering them complete and looking better than ever.  Here are Muckman & Joe Eyeball and Scumbug, three of the coolest bad guys from the 1990 series with new custom paint jobs.  Stay tuned for more.

Before

After

SCUMBUG

MUCKMAN & Joe Eyeball

Halloween on the Brain

 Finding myself longing for Halloween.  I have a brick of clay left that I'm trying to use up so I can dedicate my free time solely to my ABC book.  I think the clay will be going toward a set of 6 zombie head shot glasses.  I'll have them finished and posted soon here and maybe on my Etsy.  I'm going to be busy with family and wrapping up the final Harley Poe shows this October and won't have time for but a few Halloween decorations, so I carved this guy up to appease the spirits.

October Toys: OMFG Figures

So here are the OMFG figures I mentioned in my last post.  They are the Outlandish Mini Figure Guys!  Now, I've always had a soft spot for  M.U.S.C.L.E. and Monster in My Pocket figures, but since newer toy companies like Jakks Pacific (S.L.U.G. Zombies) and October Toys have released their own homages to these little rubber guys from the 80s, I've been reliving my childhood and honestly finding a bit more pleasure in collecting them, especially these OMFG guys.

 They are amazing!  They're every bit as crazy as M.U.S.C.L.E. if not more, and they come in that standard flesh tone as well as a myriad of other colors.  Unfortunately, I wasn't familiar with Kickstarter.com when series 1 was introduced, but I've since found a pack of flesh tone, a poster, and the exclusive Kickstarter black set all from Ebay.  Of course I couldn't resist painting my black set.  They were already primed and ready to go.

 I've painted Stroll to resemble another favorite toy of mine from the 80s: My Pet Monster.

The best part about these guys is the detail.  The creators and sculptors have such wonderful imaginations, and the amount of talent and skill they have to be able to sculpt such miniatures blows my mind.  I love painting them, but I hope to one day learn how to sculpt my own.  I can't wait to receive series 2.  They should be out soon from http://octobertoys.com.  I feel like a seven year old boy on his birthday.